How counselling can help?

Being listened to by someone, who is trained to help, can help you feel less alone and isolated.

• A counsellor will accept you for who you are and listen in an unconditional, non-judgmental way.

• Counselling can help you rebuild a trusting relationship with another, by providing you with a safe, confidential space to talk about your problems, doubts and fears.

• You will be able to understand that your body sends you signals to tell you that things don’t feel right . Some of these feelings can be overwhelming and scary. A counsellor can help you to understand what your body is trying to communicate to you.

• You may have grown up internalising beliefs such as you’re not good enough, clever enough, lovable. You may have been called selfish, whenever you tried to put yourself first. You may feel that you have to be perfect. These are what we call ‘Conditions of Worth’ (things you have been told by others). You may start to believe that this is really you. Counselling can help you understand them as messages you received when you were growing up and help you see them from a different perspective.

• You may have developed an addiction/s or obsessive behaviour/s. Counselling can help you see that these are things that you have put in place, or used, to help you manage difficult feelings or situations. These are what are called defence mechanisms. They become like dependable friends, helping you to deal with stress and getting you through hard times. The difficulty is they can become one-sided , allowing for only one choice of action. They may even have become unmanageable, taking over your life and stopping  you from functioning in a healthy way. The  alternative  is to create more adaptive defences , so that you can choose other ways of responding.